I just have to get through my comprehensive exam.

Then my thesis (then defense).

Graduate.

Find a job (or scholarship).

Then blog regularly.

Who am I kidding?

All of us, at some point, had our share of unaccomplished goals. For me, I have a ton.

Just this summer, I began to calculate my grade goals for this semester. This is my last semester of coursework and only the Biochemistry cognate courses are left to be taken. I was a bit disappointed that I need a lot to be able to qualify for comprehensive exam next semester.

So I worked hard and prayed harder. I needed at least a 2.0 on Carbohydrate and Lipid Metabolism and at least a 1.25 on Analytical Biochemistry. I anticipated that this semester would be my busiest even though I will only be taking 6 units. On top of that, I need to get my outline approved so that I could enroll the remaining 3 units for thesis the following semester.

I had my doubts. Yes, there were lots of times when the temptation to slack off were so strong, and there were also times I gave in, but I was grateful to God for giving me the strength to push through.

Waiting for the grades was tough. I’m only around the campus but I was scared to go see my grades. I’d pass by our building, muss up the courage to go inside, and chicken out the last minute to knock on the door. Finally, I prayed.This is it, God. Please, make a miracle in me and be glorified. This shouldn’t be prolonged. I trust you and may your will be done.

Seeing that sign on our instructor’s door that the classcards were with the other instructor (there were two instructors. We gave the classcards to instructor A but got it from instructor B) just prolonged the agony. It’s like the feeling of watching a cliffhanger. I was just walking down the hallway, praying, when finally I opened the door the instructor B’s office. She took one look before looking for my classcard, gave it to me, and not a single word was said.

I got a 2.0, which was safe for the Metabolism class, not to mention that I reached one of my goals. But I was hoping I’d get a 1.75. The 1.25 for the Analytical Biochemistry class was impossible aside from the fact that we can’t find our classcards. I began to lose hope. Even though I was working to reach my goals for this term, I still looked into the possibility of not being able to qualify for the comprehensive exam. Even though my adviser was leaving for post-doctoral it wouldn’t be a problem for me but I was preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the disappointment to come.

I told my mum about the 2.0 and my doubts. It’s easier to tell my mum things and to whine on things like this. I told her and insisted that even if I don’t qualify this coming semester, I would still push through to finish what I started.

Then I told my adviser the following morning. She was so calm about it. We discussed the possible options I could take while comforting me because I was disappointed with myself even though I accomplished one of my goals. That’s what I love about her. She’s so calm and serene about things. She would not discount the possibility of one thing happening just to sugarcoat it for me. And I could talk to her personally. When we were done, I hugged her and wished her goodbye and a safe journey. She told me to give her news about my grades so she can make arrangements.

Then I went to the Graduate School to submit my Graduate Apprenticeship daily time record and accomplishment report. I saw a classmate there and saw her inquiring for her grades. I completely forgot we could also get our grades there so I inquired as well. I wasn’t really surprised. But I was so disappointed I only got 1.75 in that class.

As I was walking towards my car, I remembered while I was computing the grades, all of my courses have 3 units except for 2 courses, which were a 2-unit and 1-unit courses. Instead of adding the grade for the 1-unit course as is, I computed it in such a way that it is a 3-unit course. I computed it again, this time I included everything.

I jumped up in utter bliss when I found out I’d be able to qualify for the comprehensive exam this coming semester. I didn’t know who to tell first. I’m so happy I still can’t get over it. I ran to my adviser and squealed with glee with my news. Of course, I told her about the mistake in my computation but she still reminded me to check with the Graduate School for verification.

By the grace of God I made it. And I thank Him for motivating me through this semester. If it hadn’t been for that slight mistake in my computation of grades, I wouldn’t have worked that hard (although I’m not saying my efforts were enough). Of course, I also owe this to a lot of people who helped me. My mum for letting me skip the chores and even do it for me when I’m wrecking my brain, and my siblings for doing the dishes for me when I’m busy, even for a fee. Of course, to my adviser for being so cool, which helped me a lot, not to mention financially because the semester’s GMAP had been so light and easy and she still let me maximize my “work” hours. I also owe some to my classmates who helped me study, especially that Analytical Biochemistry class. We bonded a lot and knowing that we all share the same burden helped me through things. I especially owe it to my groupmates, Ate Aprill, and Kuya Justin (and in my opinion, I depended a lot on him this semester).

I’m still happy I wasn’t alone.

Philippians 4:4-9

We often hear phrases such asfull packageor theperfect package. We often use these terms to refer to people whose assets are to die for. They are what everyone wants or what everyone wants to be. This is not about that though.

I’ve been noticing a few days earlier (or weeks, maybe, I’m really not sure) something different from a friend. Something I can’t really put my finger into until earlier when I, along with another friend, were talking about how that particular friend is taking an interest on someone and others have been noticing how there has been a change in that friend’s grooming habits.

And I thought, that’s good because that friend is being motivated to improve in the physical aspect. But I can’t help but wonder at the same time if it’s wise to do it just because you want someone to take notice. It’s like doing things halfheartedly (but I’m not saying that this friend does).

It’s like wrapping oneself up prettily with a really neat bow on top. Packages that are pretty are attractive, but let’s face it, they’re deceiving. How would you know what’s inside? What are you going to do about it once you’ve found out it’s not to your liking. If we take the side of the one packaged, what happens when something good came out of “packaging” yourself? Are you going to keep it up? Will you be able to keep it up? If it didn’t go as “planned”, will you go back to your original state?

It’s good if it eventually leads to a permanent change. Even so, why not just do it wholeheartedly in the first place. This is the thing that makes me so confused, which makes me sad in the end. Being pretentious takes time and effort. Eventually, you’ll get tired and mad and soon you would end up worse than before. Why not do it for yourself instead? This doesn’t always occur in relationships although I notice this pattern occurring often in relationships. They don’t end well.

Sun finally showed with no signs of rain.

Thank God for the good weather.

The rest of my friends would be pleased to know I drank something that has more than 20% alcohol content last night courtesy of my friend Patrick who surprisingly brought vodka to a family restaurant.

The World’s Best Tasting Vodka. I should be thankful since my first taste of 40% alcohol is a French-produced premium priced vodka. >:D

I wasn’t really planning on joining the “monthly” dinner thing our MBB 240 class had but since me and my mum rarely eat dinner at home and we frequent that restaurant, it was convenient seeing them there. I was surprised they had a cake for me and two other classmates. One celebrated his late February, mine was last month, and the other was just last week.

I was the one who blew the candle. Hah!

My dad kind of forbids us to drink alcohol (even though he has more than just a bunch at home) so I told him I would only drink if they’re present. Needless to say, when I took my first drink, my mum was at the background (Haha! I transferred tables after eating with my her) not knowing what I was up to. Dizziness came quicker than I expected. But my mum’s a bit lenient when it comes to alcohol as long as I’m honest. Sometimes I can even get her to buy me a beer with her as an audience.

So yeah, this is me still growing up.